Discussing Rosie & Elisabeth’s tiff on the View yesterday morning.
Oops – you missed it! Probably "sleeping" or some shit like that. Nice life, lazy. Screenshots and a reenactment below, for your benefit -
Anchor: Who do you think won, Jill?
Jill: Elisabeth, because [fill in cogent and nicely worded answer here].
Anchor: Who do you think won, Julia?
Julia: Uh … Rosie. And Elisabeth. Also, Rosie. [fill in unintelligible, un-follow-able other stuff here].
What I meant to say (and what I said to myself in the car going home) was "Rosie [read more...]
I was going to write "Good Monday Morning" but then I heard Amanda Congdon’s voice in my head saying it and immediately I got a blistering headache.
In any case, will be discussing competing within RELATIONSHIPS with your sig other. I have absolutely no idea why I capitalized relationships in the previous sentence. And because I am Very Tired and Want to Go to Bed Desperately, I’m not going to change it.
with Matt Titus, dating coach and founder of Matt’s Little Black Book
Will be on the g4 network’s geek popular program Attack of the Show … 7 pm, chatting about next season’s Heroes extra episodes, something called "Halo," the douchebags otherwise known as Opie & Anthony getting suspended from XM, and the military banning YouTube & Myspace.
In other words, your average bar conversation in Silicon Valley.
Was on Fox’s Morning Show with the jovial Mike and lovely and vivacious Juliet … talking about Relationship Bad Habits …
You can watch the show here! I will warn you, however, that it looks like a vicious tornado armed only with hairspray and a teasing comb attacked my hair. Sigh.
Will be discussing a possible Bloomberg run for the White House at 4:40 pm today on FoxNews – specifically whether the sheer size of his financial, uh, package, is patently unfair to the voters (buying their votes!) and other candidates (making them feel poor!). I will be taking the affirmative.
I’m not going to even show you the up-close screenshots, that’s how tired/puffy/generally hideous I looked this morning, attempting to talk on Fox & Friends (and later on The Big Story with John Gibson) about the insidious schadenfreude this entire country (and parts of the UK, I’m told) is experiencing over Paris Hilton’s imminent jailtime.
Being a friendly contrarian by nature, I took Paris’ side. I think I’m literally the ONLY ONE (according to a TMZ poll, 96% believe Paris "got what she deserved.") Look – of course it’s not okay for her [read more...]
Nothing like a little sex talk in the morning!
Watch the show, below …
If you’ve ever seen Redeye – and really, unless you have something like a JOB which requires you to be awake in the morning or whatever, you have no excuse not to watch every night – you know that they frequently discuss Very Important Subjects, oftentimes involving bestialty and/or squirrels (in general, not sex with them. although I’m sure they’d be down with discussing the logistics of that).
Last week, we covered the following ground:
Rosie, and specifically why I haven’t been asked to be a guest cohost on The View (I’m not [read more...]
It’s a Julia-double header on FoxNews this, er, "morning." Catch me on Redeye at 2 am, and on Fox&Friends at 6:15 am. Just FYI, I don’t think I’ve been up at 6:15 am – voluntarily – since 1984. The things I do for Rupe.
To all the ladies out there, a warning:
Although you might say, very, very clearly: "Hair Stylist, please DO NOT cut ridiculous amounts of layers so I look like Jennifer Aniston in 1995," what they may hear is "I want to look JUST LIKE Jennifer when she was really, really unattractive! Three inch layers are AWESOME. Please butcher my hair!!! No, really, do it!! And while you’re at it, MAKE SURE IT WILL TAKE YEARS TO GROW OUT!!!"