I’ll be on Hannity & Colmes tonight examining the douchebaggery of Donald Trump in the Trump vs. Rosie War of Moral Compasses.
Basically, my point will be this: Donald Trump is a bloviating ‘tard, and arguing back with a personalized version of the "Yo momma’s so fat" insult is just fucking lame. "You’re so fat, my friends could steal your girlfriend!" Oooh!!! I’m sure Rosie’s really worried now, Donald!
UPDATE: Watch an (edited) version of my comments here
Today, Fox News, 11:35 am. Discussing Issues of Importance to The People. And by “The People” We Mean, No People.
C’mon, is this the type of girl who would party too hard? Oh. Right.
Will be on FoxNews today at 11:35 discussing the pressing issue of WILL MISS USA BE DE-THRONED FOR DRINKING AND MAKING OUT WITH OTHER HOT GIRLS???
The whole thing’s been keeping me up nights, so I’m glad that an opportunity has presented itself to just get my real thoughts and feelings out. Like, for example, "Who the fuck cares?"
UPDATE: Producers changed topics at last moment and I ended up talking about Snoop getting arrested, Tracey Morgan’s DUI, K-Fed having sex with a porn star and Brit/Paris/Lindsay being hos. Just another day at Fox News: The Morality Channel. The best part? I got to say "Well, [name of newscaster], you can’t teach an old Dogg new tricks." Which was awesome, obvs.
Was it the vest?
Will be on Fox News today (Wed) 11:48 am talking about GQ’s Newlyweds 18th Celeb Couple to Divorce of the Year (awesome, really, to have [read more...]
UPDATE: CANCELLED! Producers think "TomKat" overplayed. Uh … you think?
Will be on Fox News today at 11:48 am discussing the TomKat wedding, box office returns, serious middle east policy concerns, Bill Hemmer’s hair. If you’re at work or doing something similarly unproductive, TIVO it. Or not.
Today I’ll be on Fox News doing a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it segment about a subject on the hearts and minds of the American people:
STAR JONES IS LEAVING THE VIEW
According to People magazine, “After The View cohost Star Jones Reynolds announced on the air Tuesday that she would leave the show in July, her network had a response: Leave now. ”
Translation: “Get the F–k Out, You Big-Boned Biatch!” Um … does this mean they won’t do a montage?
Look, I rarely watch the View. My only connection is that I once met Barbara [read more...]