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Writing

After graduating from Georgetown in 2004 with a spectacularly unprofitable degree in political science, I moved to New York with the highly original idea of “becoming a writer.” I was promptly rejected from a job at Bath & Body Works. Seriously. Shortly thereafter, I convinced an editor at the Manhattan newspaper AM New York to begin running my weekly dating columns, which I wrote until Spring 2007, at which point I started as Time Out New York’s dating columnist (I get around). I stayed there until 2009.

Along the way, I have written for Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Newsweek, New York magazine, The Guardian UK, The Huffington Post, Nerve, Page Six magazine, Marie Claire UK, Teen Vogue, Seventeen, Capitol File, Michigan Avenue, Men’s Health (and a monthly dating column in COED magazine for two years, from 2004-2006).

In 2010 I signed a deal with Tribune Media Services in Chicago, and my internationally syndicated technology and social media column, “Social Studies,” debuted in 2011. It ran in newspapers around the world, including the Chicago Tribune, Florida’s City Link, The Telegraph in Calcutta India, The Korea Herald, and many others.

In November of 2011, I signed on as a contributor to ELLE.com to write a dating column called Guinea Pig of Love, in which I go around trying to find out why the hell I can’t have a healthy relationship. It’s fun! You should read it.

In the meantime, check out a few of my published articles from the last decade below …

(One caveat: I’m currently in the process of uploading all of my writing from the past three years, including my ELLE columns and my Tribune Media Social Studies tech columns, as well as a few other stragglers. I know, I know, you’re waiting with bated breath.)


DEAL OR NO DEAL: BEWARE ALL YE WHO ENTER – SHOULD WE LOOK PAST DEAL-BREAKER APARTMENTS TO GIVE THEIR INHABITANTS A CHANCE?



DEAL OR NO DEAL: BEWARE ALL YE WHO ENTER – SHOULD WE LOOK PAST DEAL-BREAKER APARTMENTS TO GIVE THEIR INHABITANTS A CHANCE?
TIME OUT NEW YORK
APRIL 16-22, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON 

I live in what could arguably be called a deal-breaker apartment. It’s unabashedly girly—decked out entirely in pink and white. The focal point is a ridiculous Pottery Barn for Teens canopy bed, on which rests an unironic teddy bear. I have a pink piggy bank, pink shower curtains and an extensive scented candle collection. Ayn Rand paperbacks that I read in high school hang out on my bookshelves [read more...]

THE GREAT WHITE LAY: THE RIGHT BROADWAY SHOW CAN SEAL THE DEAL



THE GREAT WHITE LAY: THE RIGHT BROADWAY SHOW CAN SEAL THE DEAL
TIME OUT NEW YORK
APRIL 2-8, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON

Every New Yorker’s gotten it – the well-meaning but slightly clueless out-of-town relative first wants to know if “you like New York” (Um, yes? That’s why I live here?) and then invariably follows that brilliance with, “so, seen any good musicals lately? You know, like Phantom? Or … Cats?”

Well, no. I have not seen Cats lately. Nor has anyone else in New York. That is because it NO LONGER RUNS HERE.

That having been settled, the original question isn’t [read more...]

CARRIE-D AWAY: SEX AND THE CITY BRIDGES THE AGE GAP



CARRIE-D AWAY: SEX AND THE CITY BRIDGES THE AGE GAP
TIME OUT NEW YORK
MARCH 27-APRIL 2, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON 

My grandmother is 84 years old. She’s never voted outside the Republican party, was married to my grandfather from the age of 20 and can count the times she’s missed church on one hand. She does not own a DVD player or have cable.

But my grandmother watches Sex and the City.

Not only does she watch it, she talks about it frequently. Like little TBS bombs, she’ll throw aSATC anecdote into conversation, which she did on the phone with me [read more...]

CAUGHT IN THE WEB: BEFORE BLOGGING ABOUT YOUR EX-REMEMBER – THE DELETE BUTTON DOESN’T EXIST ONLINE 



CAUGHT IN THE WEB: BEFORE BLOGGING ABOUT YOUR EX-REMEMBER – THE DELETE BUTTON DOESN’T EXIST ONLINE 
TIME OUT NEW YORK
MARCH 12-18, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON 

Ever since I saw Avenue Q a few years ago, whenever anyone starts a sentence with “The Internet is for…” I automatically fill in porn and then hum the tune, off-key, for the rest of the day. It’s an annoying habit, not only because I don’t know the rest of the words, but because it’s outdated.

The Internet is still for watching folks diddle, but it’s also for Googling your one-night stand, IMing your mistress, blogging about your [read more...]

DARK HEARTS: MOST LIKELY, EVERYONE YOU KNOW HAS A SECRET LIFE



DARK HEARTS: MOST LIKELY, EVERYONE YOU KNOW HAS A SECRET LIFE
TIME OUT NEW YORK
MARCH 5-11, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON 

A girlfriend of mine moved to Manhattan after graduating from college a few years ago. She began dating a guy who claimed he was separated from his wife. Except he, uh, forgot to let his wife know about their little status change. It didn’t tip my friend off that he never asked her back to his apartment—he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, so he must be separated! Oh such sweet naïveté. Six months later his unlocked cell phone dialed his marital [read more...]

PSYCHED: CAN AN ASTROLOGER TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LOVE?



PSYCHED: CAN AN ASTROLOGER TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LOVE?
TIME OUT NEW YORK
FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 4, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON 

Like most New Yorkers, I’ve gone to therapists sporadically throughout my life. But before researching this column, I had only met one astrologer. Although I enjoyed astrology—in a very unserious way—I’d only used it to superstitiously check if a new crush’s love sign was compatible.

Six astrologers later (see next page), it’s not even a contest. If you never follow another piece of my advice, I’m begging you, take this one: Call one of these [read more...]

MODEL RELATIONSHIP: THE DATING LIVES OF MODELS AREN’T QUITE AS GLAMOROUS AS ONE WOULD THINK



MODEL RELATIONSHIP: THE DATING LIVES OF MODELS AREN’T QUITE AS GLAMOROUS AS ONE WOULD THINK
TIME OUT NEW YORK
FEBRUARY 20-26, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON 

Fashion Week is over, but New York is still a model’s town. And there (probably) isn’t a woman in this city who hasn’t wondered whether all of her dating problems would disappear if she only looked like Gisele. Or Jessica Stam. Or even what’s-her-name on America’s Next Top Model.

Yeah, it’s pathetic, but even the smartest among us can fall into the trap of believing that perfect looks might transform our personal lives—men would fall at [read more...]

TIME BOMB: MALE BIO CLOCKS TICK TOO



TIME BOMB: MALE BIO CLOCKS TICK TOO
TIME OUT NEW YORK
FEBRUARY 13-18, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON

Men have their own natal alarm. It’s not as insistent, but it ticks nonetheless—and when it finally goes off, they tend to want to settle and mate as soon as possible, with whichever girl happens to be around and available. It goes off between 26 and 32 for most, though Manhattan men seem to press the snooze button until their midthirties—or beyond.

“Living here gives us the illusion that we’re younger than we are,” says Sam, 38, a systems analyst. “But time does [read more...]

JUST BE YOURSELF (TM) 



JUST BE YOURSELF (TM) 
TIME OUT NEW YORK
FEBRUARY 6-12, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON

“Attention whore,” “slut with a pen,” “useless ho-bag, “Chiclet-toothed asshole,” “old, ugly and over” (at 26, no less!) and—my personal favorite—“dumber than an autistic child.” Almost immediately after I began writing a dating column several years ago, critics/bloggers tore me apart.

Why? Because I had the “audacity” to be myself—and then market it: Julia Allison™. (Isn’t that terminology totally obnoxious???) To me, this means being outspoken, brutally, sometimes uncomfortably honest, imperfect but positive. Thisis self-marketing. And every single person should do it.

People get marketing all wrong. They think [read more...]

EXIT STRATEGY: WHEN IS A RELATIONSHIP REAL ENOUGH FOR A PROPER ENDING?



EXIT STRATEGY: WHEN IS A RELATIONSHIP REAL ENOUGH FOR A PROPER ENDING?
TIME OUT NEW YORK
JANUARY 30-FEBRUARY 5, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON

It’s hard enough to break up with your S.O. when you were clearly in a relationship. But how do you deal with ending something in those nebulous first stages—before it’s a real-ationship?

You know, you go out a few times, or perhaps you even date for a few months, but you never have the “exclusivity talk.” Then, for whatever reason, he or she disappears. While it’s easy to dismiss these embryonic affairs, they can be like paper [read more...]