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Writing

After graduating from Georgetown in 2004 with a spectacularly unprofitable degree in political science, I moved to New York with the highly original idea of “becoming a writer.” I was promptly rejected from a job at Bath & Body Works. Seriously. Shortly thereafter, I convinced an editor at the Manhattan newspaper AM New York to begin running my weekly dating columns, which I wrote until Spring 2007, at which point I started as Time Out New York’s dating columnist (I get around). I stayed there until 2009.

Along the way, I have written for Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Newsweek, New York magazine, The Guardian UK, The Huffington Post, Nerve, Page Six magazine, Marie Claire UK, Teen Vogue, Seventeen, Capitol File, Michigan Avenue, Men’s Health (and a monthly dating column in COED magazine for two years, from 2004-2006).

In 2010 I signed a deal with Tribune Media Services in Chicago, and my internationally syndicated technology and social media column, “Social Studies,” debuted in 2011. It ran in newspapers around the world, including the Chicago Tribune, Florida’s City Link, The Telegraph in Calcutta India, The Korea Herald, and many others.

In November of 2011, I signed on as a contributor to ELLE.com to write a dating column called Guinea Pig of Love, in which I go around trying to find out why the hell I can’t have a healthy relationship. It’s fun! You should read it.

In the meantime, check out a few of my published articles from the last decade below …

(One caveat: I’m currently in the process of uploading all of my writing from the past three years, including my ELLE columns and my Tribune Media Social Studies tech columns, as well as a few other stragglers. I know, I know, you’re waiting with bated breath.)


HANGING UP



HANGING UP
TIME OUT NEW YORK
JANUARY 24-30, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON

Ask anyone who has gone through a painful breakup (or worse, a painful relationship) whether their significant other “affected their mental health,” and you’ll get a withering stare worthy of a teenager dismissing his parents’ ineffable uncoolness. Duh.

No one in the history of the world has been in love without some downs, but there’s a huge difference between some minor turmoil and then those relationships—you know exactly which ones I’m talking about—that cause serious mental distress.

Good relationships shouldn’t consistently make you cry. That this is so obvious belies [read more...]

HOT AND HEAVY: WHEN YOU OR YOUR S.O. FALLS OFF THE FITNESS TRUCK



HOT AND HEAVY: WHEN YOU OR YOUR S.O. FALLS OFF THE FITNESS TRUCK
TIME OUT NEW YORK
JANUARY 10-16, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON 

We all know the cliché: Boy meets girl, boy dumps girl, girl jumps into the consoling arms of Ben & Jerry. I’ve actually found the opposite to be true. The worse the breakup, the longer it takes to track down my appetite. Want that pizza? Just think of the girl he’s screwing.

Moving in and out of relationships usually results in some weight-related change, and the trend isn’t merely anecdotal. According to “Fattily Ever After,” a recent [read more...]

RESOLVE THIS: READERS SUGGEST ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS



RESOLVE THIS: READERS SUGGEST ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS
TIME OUT NEW YORK
DECEMBER 27, 2007-JANUARY 2, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON
 

I really, really like New Year’s resolutions. I find the promise of Oprahesque personal growth, combined with the clean slate of a new calendar year, compelling (for much the same reason that I just can’t turn away when I see a TV makeover).

In a column last year, I wrote that “taking risks in your dating life—whether they be threesomes, ending a stale relationship or allowing yourself to risk hurt and fall in love—is almost unequivocally rewarding.”

Yeah, I took risks all right, and [read more...]

ON THE LINE: LOVE IS PROBABLY CLOSER THAN YOU THINK



ON THE LINE: LOVE IS PROBABLY CLOSER THAN YOU THINK
TIME OUT NEW YORK
DECEMBER 13-26, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON 

You’ve probably heard about the recent subterranean love story (the New York Post called it “Subway Love at 1st Site”!) but in case you haven’t…Patrick Moberg, a 21-year-old computer programmer/illustrator, spotted a cute girl wearing a flower in her hair on the 5 train. Unable to work up the nerve to introduce himself, he lost her in the crowd at the Bowling Green stop and regretted it—so much so that he created a website, nygirlofmydreams.com, to track her down. The kicker? [read more...]

PARENT MAP 



PARENT MAP 
TIME OUT NEW YORK
DECEMBER 6-12, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON 

With the holiday season upon us, we’ve all been spending a lot of time with our families, bastions of function and dysfunction, or sometimes a combination of the two. Growing up, my mom used to tell me that the best gift a parent can give a child is a happy marriage. I suspect she may have just been patting herself on the back—my parents just celebrated 29 years together.

Healthy or not, our parents’ relationships—what they value in a partner, how they resolve conflict, express (or repress) affection [read more...]

CASH ADVANCES 



CASH ADVANCES 
TIME OUT NEW YORK
NOVEMBER 29-DECEMBER 5, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON 

A few weeks ago, a suspiciously bold post appeared on Craigslist from a self-avowed beauty searching for a husband who “makes at least half a million.” The unabashedly belligerent response—from a guy who supposedly makes that much—dismissed her plea as “a crappy business deal.” As he wrote, “Your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity.” He got her good, that gold digger!

That the handle is attributed primarily to women, and is sexist, doesn’t deter a certain set from denouncing “those types of [read more...]

WHEN “I LOVE YOU” COMES TOO LATE



WHEN “I LOVE YOU” COMES TOO LATE
TIME OUT NEW YORK
NOVEMBER 15-21, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON 

Saying I love you has always been one of my favorite activities—but as the years and boyfriends have gone by, I’ve become increasingly picky about how long it takes me to say it.

My high-school boyfriend claims that I told him I loved him before we even started dating. I’ve repressed this memory, but I suppose, given my teenage propensity to just throw emotion around like a PETA member throws red paint (uh, that would be at people, whether they like it or not), it might [read more...]

A LITTLE DENIAL GOES A LONG WAY WHEN YOU BREAK UP 



A LITTLE DENIAL GOES A LONG WAY WHEN YOU BREAK UP 
TIME OUT NEW YORK
NOVEMBER 8-14, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON 

You meet. You fall in love. You move in together. You realize something isn’t quite right. You break up.

Cue the Kübler-Ross grief cycle: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. Psychologists like to say somber, pessimistic things such as “There are no fun shortcuts to getting over heartbreak” and “We must live honestly through the rainy days of despair.” Screw that!

Those stages may be good for dealing with death, but for breakups? A true awareness of the [read more...]

WHEN A RELATIONSHIP SHOULDN’T BE RESUSCITATED 



WHEN A RELATIONSHIP SHOULDN’T BE RESUSCITATED 
TIME OUT NEW YORK
NOVEMBER 1-7, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON 

I have no problem leaving a theater halfway through a film; I’ll abandon a crappy novel on the fourth page; I’ll quit a job before the insurance benefits kick in—but a relationship? I’m in that baby until I’m utterly disgusted—or he is. Whichever comes last.

It’s odd, because no one has ever said, “I really wish I’d given him that 14th chance,” or “I’m so grateful I stayed with him four years after I began having doubts.”

And yet, we hold on to relationships [read more...]

JUST NOT THAT INTO MARRIAGE… YET



JUST NOT THAT INTO MARRIAGE… YET
TIME OUT NEW YORK
OCTOBER 25-31, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON

I’ve been visiting a lot of psychics lately (Oh, be quiet! It’s for an article)—and I always ask them when I’m going to meet my husband, which they invariably interpret as “Am I going to meet him soon? Please let it be tomorrow! WILL HE GET HERE ALREADY?! And is he a 6’3” doctor by any chance?”

Nothing is further from the truth. I am in no mood to meet my future spouse, let alone date him. I have no doubt he’s out there [read more...]