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RESOLVE THIS: READERS SUGGEST ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS



RESOLVE THIS: READERS SUGGEST ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS
TIME OUT NEW YORK
DECEMBER 27, 2007-JANUARY 2, 2008
BY JULIA ALLISON
 

I really, really like New Year’s resolutions. I find the promise of Oprahesque personal growth, combined with the clean slate of a new calendar year, compelling (for much the same reason that I just can’t turn away when I see a TV makeover).

In a column last year, I wrote that “taking risks in your dating life—whether they be threesomes, ending a stale relationship or allowing yourself to risk hurt and fall in love—is almost unequivocally rewarding.”

Yeah, I took risks all right, and [read more...]

WHEN A RELATIONSHIP SHOULDN’T BE RESUSCITATED 



WHEN A RELATIONSHIP SHOULDN’T BE RESUSCITATED 
TIME OUT NEW YORK
NOVEMBER 1-7, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON 

I have no problem leaving a theater halfway through a film; I’ll abandon a crappy novel on the fourth page; I’ll quit a job before the insurance benefits kick in—but a relationship? I’m in that baby until I’m utterly disgusted—or he is. Whichever comes last.

It’s odd, because no one has ever said, “I really wish I’d given him that 14th chance,” or “I’m so grateful I stayed with him four years after I began having doubts.”

And yet, we hold on to relationships [read more...]

So Jake says to me the other day: “Let me teach you how to edit videos!” and I go, “Um. I know how to edit. I was in the Amateur Video club in high school. I just choose not to, because it SUCKS WHOLE DAYS OF MY LIFE AWAY FROM ME.” I’m not the best editor, obviously, but it certainly is fun to be creative, even if it takes three hours on a Sunday (especially when the alternative is to pack for a move.) I’m really proud of this. Tell me what you think!!! PS. I am in no way joking about the AV club. As an aside, I was also on Stage Crew, and a Props Mistress for Mame, and Vice President of the Global Exchange Club. And on the debate team and in the Latin club (I wish I were kidding) and on the Synchronized Swimming team. AND I was President of the Animal Protection Club. And of course, an editor on the school paper. And I had my own radio show. YES, I was a geek, no doubt about it.

JUST NOT THAT INTO MARRIAGE… YET



JUST NOT THAT INTO MARRIAGE… YET
TIME OUT NEW YORK
OCTOBER 25-31, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON

I’ve been visiting a lot of psychics lately (Oh, be quiet! It’s for an article)—and I always ask them when I’m going to meet my husband, which they invariably interpret as “Am I going to meet him soon? Please let it be tomorrow! WILL HE GET HERE ALREADY?! And is he a 6’3” doctor by any chance?”

Nothing is further from the truth. I am in no mood to meet my future spouse, let alone date him. I have no doubt he’s out there [read more...]

WHAT TEENS CAN TEACH US ABOUT DATING



WHAT TEENS CAN TEACH US ABOUT DATING
TIME OUT NEW YORK
SEPTEMBER 20-26, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON

I spent the majority of my teenage years veering wildly between romantic euphoria and despair. And I definitely felt like I would love forever every boy I kissed. Like most girls my age, I was, of course, insane. After all, there’s a reason Romeo and Juliet killed themselves—they were 16! If they had been 36, they’d be like, “Yeah, my family thinks you’re a douchebag so, eh, this is all really too much trouble.”

While I’m generally relieved that I’ll never have to [read more...]

BRAS ARE OPTIONAL FOR FIRST-DATE ATTIRE



BRAS ARE OPTIONAL FOR FIRST-DATE ATTIRE
TIME OUT NEW YORK
SEPTEMBER 13-19, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON

Last night, I asked the guy I’ve been seeing if he remembered my outfit from our first date, which was about six weeks ago. “I don’t really know,” he replied. “I remember I could see your legs. And they looked hot.”

Sigh. They say that straight women dress for other women—that is, except when they’re dressing for first dates. In that case, they’re most definitely dressing for men. Seriously, lots of us spend hours considering the options: Is a dress too fancy? Are heels [read more...]

OUR COLUMNIST MAKES A GREATEST-HITS LIST OF THE BEST ALL-TIME DATING BOOKS



OUR COLUMNIST MAKES A GREATEST-HITS LIST OF THE BEST ALL-TIME DATING BOOKS
TIME OUT NEW YORK
SEPTEMBER 6-12, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON

There are about 73,082 love guides out there and all are not created equal. In fact, some were created downright dumb (actual advice in one: “Tell him your name.”) Sigh. It’s shit like this that brings the genre down. The following are the best of the best—classics. Read these, commit them to memory, then invite me to your wedding.

Think Like a Guy
by Giuliana DePandi, 2006

The cover’s awful, and yeah, I judge on that. But get beyond [read more...]

WHY ENVY FOR THAT LUCKY-IN-LOVE PAL JUST MIGHT BE A BIOLOGICAL NECESSITY 



WHY ENVY FOR THAT LUCKY-IN-LOVE PAL JUST MIGHT BE A BIOLOGICAL NECESSITY 
TIME OUT NEW YORK
AUGUST 30-SEPTEMBER 5, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON
 

A friend of mine—who happens to be both an Ivy League graduate and an Adriana Lima doppelgänger—recently began seeing an extremely successful, extremely handsome, extremely intelligent man with an extremely large apartment. They have fallen in love. (Extremely, of course.)

Listening to details of their fabulous new life together, I felt a strange and uncomfortable feeling: I was envious.

I’ve always stood firmly in the “envy toward other women’s successful dating lives is insidious” camp. I don’t believe [read more...]

WHEN DISCRIMINATING TASTE EXTENDS TO YOUR OWN RACE



WHEN DISCRIMINATING TASTE EXTENDS TO YOUR OWN RACE
TIME OUT NEW YORK
AUGUST 23-29, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON 

“My mom wants me to have 100 percent Korean grandchildren,” explains Jane, a writer. “But at this rate, it doesn’t seem likely.”

While Jane has dated a few Asians in the past, she prefers tall, lanky hipsters—who are white. “My problem with most of the Korean guys I’ve dated is that they usually want to go out with girls who are just like their mothers. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m no neocon, and I won’t be slaving over your kimchi [read more...]

WHY DATA NERDS MAKE THE BEST DATES



WHY DATA NERDS MAKE THE BEST DATES
TIME OUT NEW YORK
AUGUST 16-22, 2007
BY JULIA ALLISON 

I’ve dated all types of guys—lawyers, actors, entrepreneurs—but the best sex I’ve ever had wasn’t with any of them. It was with … wait for it … a computer programmer.

That’s right. A geek!

“It’s not generally realized that geeks are the best catches,” crows the dorky-and-proud dating site Geek 2 Geek. It claims nerds tend to consistently appreciate their mates, don’t get caught up in status and are averse to “bad habits” like, say, cheating. As such, they “have much longer, more stable [read more...]