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“Kissing, hugging, being friends, helping – that’s what a marriage is about!” – Grover LOVE this.

Maybe creating a big enough space within your consciousness to hold and accept someone’s contradictions – someone’s idiocies, even – is a kind of divine act. Perhaps transcendence can be found not only on solitary mountaintops or in monastic settings, but also at your own kitchen table, in the daily acceptance of your partner’s most tiresome, irritating faults.

Maybe creating a big enough space within your consciousness to hold and accept someone’s contradictions – someone’s idiocies, even – is a kind of divine act. Perhaps transcendence can be found not only on solitary mountaintops or in monastic settings, but also at your own kitchen table, in the daily acceptance of your partner’s most tiresome, irritating faults.
Elizabeth Gilbert

Stuff I Learned Today

Oh, hi.

So one of the things I like to do in life is Learn Stuff.  It feels good and it doesn’t require sweating (usually) and sometimes when I break away from obsessively staring at my laptop every six days or so to interact with real people I can tell them about the Stuff I Learned and they will smile and say “Wow, you Learn some new Stuff every day!” and I will smile back and say “Totally! Isn’t Learning Stuff great??” and everyone will be glad they don’t have to write a ten-page essay on it.

Today, whilst doing [read more...]

A month later, I still feel this way (click on this title to read the post), and I still haven’t gone on a date.

A month later, I still feel this way (click on this title to read the post), and I still haven’t gone on a date.

So I decided to codify my unofficial gut reaction of “I really don’t feel like dating” into an official “No Dating, No Sex” stance, at least for the next month, and perhaps beyond that.

Shockingly, while I still miss Prom King (yep. STILL.), I don’t miss casual dating at all.  Deciding to go cold turkey on it just feels like the right thing to do (as Oprah would say “I feel it in my bones”).  [read more...]



It occurred to me today that I haven’t even gone out to COFFEE with another guy since Prom King and I broke up …

And I’m VERY okay with that.

In fact, I thought of this passage in Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love, in which she basically expresses exactly how I feel right now.

Let’s be honest – it might be a generous public service for me to leave intimacy alone for a while.  When I scan back on my romantic record, it doesn’t look so good.  It’s been one catastrophe after another.  How many more different [read more...]

People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.

People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.
Elizabeth Gilbert

Reader Email: "Just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."

From: A reader
Date: March 31, 2010 12:08:05 PM EDT
To: julia@nonsociety.com
Subject: :)

Dear Julia,

I don’t know you, and you don’t know me at all. But I read your blog regularly, and my heart hurts every time I read one of your most recent posts. I feel for you—I really do. Just please, please know that it will get better. I promise.

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the [read more...]

Sigh.

Remember that Wife Fluffers article I was working on for Cosmo about, oh, say, a year ago?

No?  This (or this or this or this) might jog your memory.

Well, it’s finally being published in their January issue, over a year after I wrote it. Yay!

Ironically, I just found out that the fellow I dated last fall just moved in with his (adorable) girlfriend, whom I’m totally betting he’ll marry.  That’s pre-wife fluffing, as far as I’m concerned, and definitely gets added to my total.

I have a gift.