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JULY 23, 2012

I grew up going to camp: sailing camp, ballet camp, Canadian canoe camp, even debate camp.  But I’ve never attended Pleasure Camp…until now.

I’m on the floor, cross-legged on a yoga mat, surrounded by 35 other women, mostly a decade to three older that me, listening to a very beautiful, very dynamic blonde in a tight red bandage minidress tell me to visualize straddling a horse.  “Inhale deeply, breathe in and out” she purrs.  “Feel the creature beneath you. Up, down, [read more...]

Stuff I Learned Today

Oh, hi.

So one of the things I like to do in life is Learn Stuff.  It feels good and it doesn’t require sweating (usually) and sometimes when I break away from obsessively staring at my laptop every six days or so to interact with real people I can tell them about the Stuff I Learned and they will smile and say “Wow, you Learn some new Stuff every day!” and I will smile back and say “Totally! Isn’t Learning Stuff great??” and everyone will be glad they don’t have to write a ten-page essay on it.

Today, whilst doing [read more...]

Reader Email: "sex-related tears are indicative of a large and complicated set of emotions – elation, fear, frustration, exhaustion, love, sadness, disgust, arousal, perhaps all of the above"

From: [redacted]
Date: September 1, 2009 3:06:23 AM EDT
Subject: ;) + :*( = ?

Hi Julia,

I think it’s great you’re revisiting this idea of crying during sex a few years after you first covered it, because in my (limited) experience, it’s a phenomenon that changes over time – as a woman ages, as our lives complicate and simplify, and as the relationship matures (or disintegrates).

A quick, illustrative set of examples:

The first time was with my high school sweetheart.  It was right around graduation, and we’d snuck off to his empty house after our giddy inability to keep our hands [read more...]

Mini-Debate: Crying During Sex – Good, Bad, Weird … Huh?

I’m not sure how it came up exactly (seriously!), but this weekend Code Name TK & I were discussing the enigmatic “girls crying during sex” phenom, which he found “weird.”  I actually wrote an entire article about it for COED magazine back in ‘05, but haven’t brought it up much since (although I’ve definitely cried a few times in that interim!).

What do you think??  Email me –

APRIL 2005

Ask any man about women crying during sex and you’ll get a strange reaction.

First, there’s The Blank Stare – they have no idea what [read more...]

SHOCKING NEWS! Girls who write about sex don’t necessarily have more of it!

SHOCKING NEWS! Girls who write about sex don’t necessarily have more of it!

As the writer of a blog called Sex and the Ivy, Harvard student Lena Chen promotes herself as something of an authority on sex. The 20-year-old sociology major is a minor celebrity around campus for her musings on hook-ups, booty calls and friends with benefits. So Chen, as self-appointed poster girl for what could be called a group of brainy girls gone wild, was an obvious choice to document a week’s worth of conquests for a national magazine’s online sex diary. Except [read more...]